


Extent of an Alliance

by aphjapan (hondakinku)



Category: Hetalia: Axis Powers
Genre: Drabble, M/M, Morning After, Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder - PTSD
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-09-23
Updated: 2013-09-23
Packaged: 2017-12-27 10:54:58
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 742
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/977978
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/hondakinku/pseuds/aphjapan
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>They constantly told others the things they did to cope were things allies would do. They reminded themselves that, knowing in their minds it wasn't true.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Extent of an Alliance

Sometimes Kiku just liked to watch Ludwig breathe. As creepy as that sounded to him, it was calming. Ludwig, despite his rough demeanor and shouting, calmed him. Especially when he was at his calmest, his most vulnerable, it calmed him. It helped him know everything was okay. During those events in the past, Ludwig rarely slept, and when he did, it was restless and filled with nightmares. Kiku would pick up on it, become worried, and wind up talking strategies with Ludwig all night. They tried not to talk of emotions then, because they agreed it would lead to a breakdown.

Despite what calming affect he had on Kiku, looking and Ludwig sometimes brought him ba—

"Kiku, you’re awake." Ludwig commented somewhat sleepily. When had Ludwig woken up? Kiku had been lost in his mind longer than he thought…

Kiku hummed softly in reply. “Go back to sleep. We have a meeting tomorrow.” Since Kiku couldn’t drive (rather, he opted not to, he could drive perfectly well if he wanted,) Ludwig volunteered to drive him. Kiku almost eagerly obliged. He picked him up that afternoon so they would be on time the next day, and had allowed Kiku to sleep in his bed with him (at Kiku’s slightly nervous request.)

Ludwig was actually very happy he asked. He enjoyed Kiku’s company - sometimes they would lie in bed, talking about anything, lighthearted or darker, and sometimes they’d stay up until 3 am or so just giggling in their sleepless euphoria.

"You should get rest, too, Kiku." He replied quietly, patting the pillow next to him, inviting Kiku to lie down on it instead of leaning on his head. "Is something troubling you?"

"No." He replied rather quickly. It wasn’t just _that_ that bothered him, it was stress from work, from bills, from his health….everything was crashing down on him again and he couldn’t handle it much longer—

"Kiku, you’re shaking. Come here." Ludwig pulled Kiku down to him and wrapped his arms around the smaller nation. Kiku returned the affection and attempted to calm himself.

"I’m fine." Kiku said shakily.

"Shhh, it’s alright, Kiku," The younger said softly, "It bothers me, too."

Somehow Ludwig knew everything - from the memories to his current situation - it was because he struggled with it himself. Ludwig would wake up screaming and would call Kiku on occasion and he would talk him out of his dream-driven hallucinations. This pain was all too familiar. “It bothers me, but it’s over now. We just need a way to get past this hump.”

Kiku once again hummed in reply. He didn’t really know what to say and Ludwig picked up on that. They sat in a rather comfortable silence for a moment. Kiku liked that; he was a silent nation, and most found it awkward. Ludwig, on the other hand, found solace.

After a moment, Kiku found the words he wanted to say. “You needn’t try to be the hero, Ludwig-tan. Despite how others feel about you, and even I struggle with it, you aren’t perfect.”

Ludwig grunted a bit. Kiku hit the nail right on the head. Ludwig wanted to be the “hero” but he stretched himself thin trying to do so. “The same goes for you, Kiku. Don’t stress yourself out too much.” In response, Kiku cuddled closer to him. _‘Just allies,’_ they told the other nations. They told themselves, even. But they both knew very well their relationship wasn’t described even close to how it really was that way.

"I won’t, but only if you don’t." To that, Kiku received another stubborn grunt. Kiku smiled a little, but Ludwig couldn’t see that in the dark, which was good. Ludwig would always tell him things like he was beautiful when he smiled and it would embarrass him to no end.

"…Thank you, Ludwig-tan." He knew what Kiku meant. For understanding, for caring, for not giving up on him when he gave up on himself. For always being there no matter what their bosses or friends said. For loving him.

"I love you, Kiku." It was a mumble, something he was afraid to say frequently due to their belief of the phrases’ strength - especially as nations, love meant a lot to them.

Kiku smiled brightly and moved his face into the crook of Ludwig’s neck, so Ludwig could feel his grin, and also he because he didn’t know what to do with this giddiness. “I love you, too, Ludwig-tan.”

**Author's Note:**

> i hate giving things titles  
> i hate summaries


End file.
